Posted by: Kathryn Hulick | December 7, 2009

Radar Rockefeller Part 1

Greenville, ME.

Radar Rockefeller Part 1A

“My mother always said she wanted a third daughter, but when I got pregnant after two girls, I knew she was lying. I wanted a son.”

Rufus Alexander David Anthony Richard Rockefeller squinched his eyes shut and groaned, “Mommmm!”

The woman in the long black coat across the table nodded once and gestured for her to continue.

Radar, as the boy was known by his friends and older sisters, tried to space out the next section in the oh-so-familiar tirade about his exceptional advancement as a toddler, his interest in science and math, his perfectly formed ears, blah blah blah.

He focused his gaze on the trench coat woman’s glass of water and narrowed his eyes.

Clink. A cube of ice popped out onto the table.

“Oh my! Did I do that? So sorry, Ms. Tan.” Radar’s mom moved her elbow back, with a sideways glance at her son. No you don’t! it said. Not until I’m ready!

Mom knew the Secret. It was why she wanted a son so bad. And why she named the boy after his grandfather, two great-grandfathers, and a great-great uncle.

There was something that ran in the family. A strange genetic defect that affected only boys. Mom had been telling Radar his whole life how someday, he would be Someone Special.

Radar hid his face behind the restaurant menu and wished with all his might that the frog on the cover would appear on his mother’s head, then hop over to Ms. Vulcan’s shoulder and get slime all over her spooky coat. Why did she have to wear a long coat in the middle of the summer, anyway?

“Rufus Alexander? Are you listening?”

Somewhere from the water behind them, a startled frog flew up as if pulled by a magnet, but landed off to one side, nearly tripping up the waiter. Drat, I’ll have to work on my aim, Radar thought.

His mom didn’t even notice. “I was just telling Ms. Tan about your Odyssey of the Mind project. When your team went to Nationals.”

“Uh huh.” Radar stuck his head up over the menu. “I’m getting the double bacon cheeseburger. With cheesy fries.”

Ms. Tan took out a notebook and a pen. That was the final straw. Radar gave a casual glance and the pen exploded in a spray of black ink. Then he stuck his tongue out.

His mom sighed.

“I see he’s a bit difficult,” Ms. Tan said. “But his skills will be most useful in service to his country. Would you mind giving us a few minutes alone?”

Mom obviously didn’t like the idea. She threw down her napkin and mumbled something about needing the restroom anyway. Radar had no intention of doing anything this crazy woman wanted. I’m just a normal kid, he thought. Nobody asked me if I wanted some superman genes!

Ms. Tan leaned forward across the table, until her nose was only an inch from Radar’s. Then she grinned widely, and Radar felt the tip of his nose starting to itch, then tingle.

With a disgusting ploink, a huge pimple burst out of the top of his nose.

“That’s for ruining my best pen,” said Ms. Vulcan. “Now, do you think you’d like to co-operate? We could really use another boy with your skills.”

Radar reached up and touched the pimple. It was real, all right. And it would totally ruin the sixth grade dance next week.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked.

Radar Rockefeller Part 2



  1. “My mother always said she wanted a third daughter, but when I got pregnant after two girls, I knew she was lying. I wanted a son.”

    ….am I supposed to be reading something into this? 😉

  2. […] Radar Rockefeller Part 1 […]

  3. […] Radar Rockefeller Part 1B […]

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